Shoehorn Wielder

Shoehorn Wielders, or the Order of the Ivory Shoehorn, are warriors that have a strange sense of humor and use shoehorns as their main weapons. The tradition of Shoehorn Wielding was started by a troll named Oaglor, with his friends Notamee and Ulto, who was really bored.

History of the Order of the Ivory Shoehorn
One day, Oaglor was watching TV. All of a sudden, there was this show in which one of the characters had the hiccups. One of the other characters tried to scare him by yelling "I AM A ZOMBIE AND I WILL MALICE YOU WITH A SHOEHORN!!" Oaglor thought that was the coolest phrase ever and told it to his friends Notamee, Dadam and Ulto. Sometime later, Oaglor made a Golden Shoehorn of Power that gave him new abilities. Because of this, the warrior class of the Shoehorn Wielder was born. Shortly after, Notamee and Oaglor's other friends thought the powers of the Shoehorn Wielder were awesome and wanted to be one. After tests of strength, endurance and insanity, they are now Shoehorn Wielders and formed the Order of the Ivory Shoehorn.

A month after, he noticed something peculiar roaming his backyard. It looked like a gazelle but had the body of a taco. Formerly a hunter, Oaglor used his taming abilities on it. Oaglor then rode on its back and met with the other Shoehorn Wielders. A day later, Oaglor happened to have found a whole herd of them and started breeding them as mounts. The Taco Gazelle has become an important part of the Order ever since.

A year later, people started thinking the Shoehorn Wielders were lunatics and the government took them to an insane asylum. After weeks of sitting in spongey rooms and eating horrible food, the Shoehorn Wielders had enough and started forming an army with like-minded peers and successfully escaped the asylum due to their shoehorn wielding powers. They all ran into the nearby jungle. They found refuge in a cave only to be attacked by Pineapple Rancors. These Pineapple Rancors had very tough hides which, for some reason, can only be penetrated by shoehorns. As the Shoehorn Wielders fought off the Pineapple Rancors, Oaglor noticed a beam of red light at the end of the cave. He looked inside and realized that this was a portal to his house. Because of this, he led the other Shoehorn Wielders inside the portal into his house. The following night, the Shoehorn Wielders had a party to celebrate this victory for the Order of the Ivory Shoehorn.

Ever since, the Order of the Ivory Shoehorn has been slowly but steadily gaining followers and are starting to become a major power in the world. Recently, they have also started using a creature simply called the "God Damn Animal" as a flying mount.

Shoehorn Wielder Abilities
Like the many different classes in this universe, Shoehorn Wielders have three different specializations for their abilities. These include the Buttwipe and Meme specs. These specs are very different from each other in how they use their powers. But in general, Shoehorn Wielders always use dual-wielded shoehorns of any material, completely random battle cries that make no sense, a pet of some sort (can be anything the Shoehorn Wielder would like as long as it is not more than ten feet tall) and potions made for healing, replenishing power, transformation, suicide, etc. Their powers are also run on an insanity system that can be refueled by showing worship to their specs' gods, practicing their skills and other insane acts. The following list describes the three different Shoehorn Wielder specializations: There are Shoehorn Wielders that don't use any of the various spec and do just as well if not better by finding their own random abilities that impress friends and foes alike. Even Oaglor himself is considered one of these "Regular Specced" Shoehorn Wielders.
 * Buttwipe Shoehorn Wielders are often called the really dark members of the Order of the Shoehorn. They often apply any liquid/chemical that they feel like using to their shoehorn weapons. They also summon dark versions of their fallen allies, taco gazelles and God Damn Animals to destroy their enemies. They get their dark powers from a Dark God that they must sacrifice captured enemies and taco gazelles to every Friday. They also take joy in taunting their enemies.
 * Meme Shoehorn Wielders get their powers from the various memes in the Internet. They apply ROFLsauce to their shoehorn weapons. They can also summon images of the various memes of the Internet which provide random buffs and debuffs. Meme Shoehorn Wielders worship an Internet Goddess that they must sing to every Friday. They also take joy in watching Youtube on their free time.